Death

Don't wanna waste no more time
Time's what we don't have
Everywhere I look, someone dies
Wonder when it's my turn?
- Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies, Biffy Clyro


Well here's a happy subject!
I think it's something that has been on everyone mind recently because of events in the past few days.  The above song came on the ipod today when I was leaving work.  I love the aptitude fate has for throwing appropriate music at you, especially lyrics.  Now it's 3 in the morning and I've woken up after having a particularly ferocious nightmare about Facebook statuses and being cut open (I guess that's a latent caesarean fear code?) and a lovely bit of heartburn to boot.  And bloody Amy Winehouse songs going around my head.

Amy, Amy, Amy.  What the hell, man?  Why be such a fucking cliche?  I was so mad when I heard she'd died.  For starters, the bitch still owes me £35 for that awful gig I went to of hers where she practically ignored the audience and slurred her way through every song on her album (including one of them twice).  I promised myself that if I ever saw her out and about I'd ask her for it!  Straight up.  I've been joking to people recently that I'll chase her estate for it.  But it pissed me off the most that it was all so... predictable.  As yet, there has been no word on an official cause of death, but seeing as the media and anyone living under a rock knew she had severe addiction problems and it's pretty darn rare that 27 year old women just lie down in their homes and die, we've all gone straight to the drug conclusion.  (I swear to God, if I read one more person reference the '27 Club'....)  So, she's a dead junkie musician who died in her prime.  Just like hundreds of others.  I'm not going to bother referencing them here, go read Wikipedia.  Any chance of you learning a lesson from others, Amy?  All the bleeding heart "Poor Amy, she couldn't fight her demons, blah blah blah" crap annoys me, because she was a woman who was incredibly talented and afforded all the trappings of success and yet she still chose to run back to the baggy, pipe or needle.  And all the people are mourning her because she's famous.  'A Wasted Talent'.  If it was Karen Winehouse who lived on your road or block, spent her life pawning jewellery and drinking cheap lager and had 3 teeth BUT was an amazing singer, what would the story in the paper be?  "Junkie found dead in flat".  I loved her first album.  She looked healthy, but obviously had issues even then.  The second album was lauded and awarded all over the world.  She had the support of family, friends, management, a record company (I know some people have drawn the conclusion of 'pressure from above to make money' but we the public cannot make a huge judgement on that, plus she did keep a low profile for a while to try and sort herself out and she could have easily bowed out gracefully if it was too much) and a loyal fan base, yet all that love, devotion and respect couldn't manifest itself into an ounce of respect for herself?  I suppose as a human being I am more disappointed in another human being's decision to self-destruct rather than face up to life and show a bit of back bone.  Plus I really have little sympathy or respect for junkies.  They will lie, cheat, steal and sell their Granny's slippers to get that rock.  There's been a lot of debate on statuses and groups on Facebook the past couple of days about addiction being an illness.  I understand the basis of that theory and fully believe that we all have an addictive element to our personalities.  Everyone has their 'thing'.  However, when you choose to pick up those terrible, evil, life threatening and devastating habits that make no logical sense, and you continue them despite all the help in the world, you're making a conscious decision to ignore a better path, the people who love you and the ultimate treasure that is life.  It's a shame that all those things were not enough for her and millions of people before her.  I do not pity Amy Winehouse, but I do pity all that she left behind (even her father who I find a little dubious for trying to launch a career on his daughter's coat tails, but I do not doubt he loved her deeply and tried to do his best for her).

The thing that has irritated me the most about this story is that for 2 days before, a horrible event of mass murder was occurring in Norway.  A man set a bomb in the Norwegian parliament building which killed 7 people, then went to an island and shot at least 85 people, many of them teenagers.  He apparently acted alone and is going to make some grandiose statement today about why he did it.  To be honest, mate, I'm not sure anyone cares why you did it, they just want to string you up!  I've never been to Norway but seems to be a pretty laid back country.  The people, especially their heads of state. have handled themselves beautifully in the face of what is essentially a Terrorist attack.  To hear of a man randomly shooting innocent young teens is horrific in any country.  But now the general public's focus seems to be (in this country at least) more "Famous Junkie Found Dead In Home" and less "Terrorist Act Leaves Many Dead and Whole Country Devastated", or "Famine Continues In East Africa Leaving Many Dying Of Starvation", or "Gunman Shoots 5 Dead In Texas After Argument In Skating Rink", or "35 Killed In Train Crash In China".  There is so much death around at the moment, so much of it needless and of people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time, and yet the media and public want to focus on some idiot singer's long-term suicide?  I find this abhorrent.  If you check out the papers today, their lead story is mostly Amy with some more info on Norway.  Go onto any news website, there's 3 or 4 angles on who feels sad about Amy and probably some good reportage on Norway, but not much else about others.  A few of my Facebook friends have mentioned their sorrow about Norway, a couple have referenced other stories of loss but gosh my news feed blew up when old Ratty-Hair-Piece popped her clogs!  I'm not comfortable with a general public who choose to view terrorism, famine and atrocities stories without passing thoughts or comment but will fall over themselves to express sympathy for a famous dead person.  Any death is sad and all life is equal.  Many would argue that it's the media who feed this insatiable desire for news about fame, wealth and downfall.  Or are they sustaining a drug-like supply for the masses?  I never buy 'celebrity' magazines and stopped buying newspapers a long time before phone hacking made people nervous, but there seems to be this weird demand for them.  Why?  What do I need to know about Coleen Rooney's weight loss?  Or Dannii Minogue's skin care regime?  Or anything about Kerry Katona?  Is there an empty space in your life that needs filling with other people's bullshit?

I sometimes wonder what kind of world I will be bringing my child into.  How will I be able to help her understand what is real and important?  I guess she won't escape the vacuous nature of peer pressure and media ideas on beauty, fame, success and wealth, because she will have friends and peers who will believe in that.  Parenting will be a hard job.

On a similar, but ever-so-slightly-more-positive note, I watched a documentary a couple of nights ago about a guy called Alex Lewis who spent 4 years of his young life battling cancer.  Now, that is an illness.  He did not choose his fate and yet he handled it with such dignity and joy.  He tried to live the best life possible while he could.  I did think this was going to be just another sad story, but I've learned more about how to live, enjoy and appreciate life from watching this young man and his family and friends than from any famous person's story.  Happiness and Success are personal and subjective elements of your life, but I think many would agree that you would have a greater life following Alex's example.  Google him, or go to the link (if it still works, they take videos down after a while) and watch this show.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b012p4v6/Alex_A_Life_Fast_Forward/

And so to bed...