I like the winter. It makes me feel real. The starkness of trees, the emotion in precipitation, disappearing creatures. It's all very honest. You have to face it, and generally embrace it. Plus, you can do things to get warm when you're cold. Summer is beautiful, I enjoy sunshine, but I hate being hot as barely anything can keep you cool. I get the feeling all that light and heat does go to people's heads, bringing a truth to the term 'Summer Madness'. Also a fine tune by Kool & The Gang! You can pretend everything's alright when you're out drinking and it's warm and everyone is smiling. Winter is a time for reflection and renewal.
And I guess January is the greatest period of that cold reality check. When the excitement and organised chaos of Christmas and New Year are over, what are you left with? A voice in your head saying, "So, what happens now?" Resolutions.
"I'm going to give up smoking."
"I want to swim with dolphins."
"I'll be a size 12 by the end of the year."
"This is my year, I will give up work and go travelling."
Noble, but once a little time goes by (10 days in my estimation) and you realise you're not even 1/10th of the way to your goal, the majority invariably give up. Can't do it. Gonna fuck it up anyway. Oh well, there's always next week/month/year/lifetime. I'm guilty of this self pitying crime too, and as time had gone on, I've worked out there are 2 fundamental issues with the reflective life goal:
1. Specifics. You want to climb Mount Everest. Great, so you work out all the steps to do it, and write it all down, and follow it to the letter with a big red 'X' next to the completion date. Except you get made redundant so saving becomes a problem. Then you have an accident and hurt your leg, that throws off the training schedule. Then your Aunt dies and you deal with that emotion. Then you find out you can't go at that particular time of year. More and more obstacles are thrown at you, and somewhere along the line, you just give up because it's almost as if the universe doesn't want you to do it. And it doesn't help if you have a specific goal and you tell a bunch of people you're going to do this thing, many will comment (negatively) if it seems as though you're not close to achieving it in *their* idea of a reasonable time, giving echoes to the nagging voices in your head. Not nice. Not everyone is equipped emotionally to deal with jumping over so many hurdles. They can't see the light at the end of the tunnel so they feel like failures, so they give up and confirm it. This is why I don't like specifics. Some people are fine with goal driven activity and can plan for all opportunities. I'd prefer to see a bigger picture and say to myself, "Ok, I'd like to do this one day. If I do as much good as I can right now and listen to my gut for cues, I'll get to where I need to be. And if it's there, great." See? No pressure.
2. So, you want to climb Mount Everest? Really, you couldn't think of something else to do? Right, you've never even climbed Primrose Hill. Ah, fuck it, I'll lust after the idea but never get anywhere near achieving it because it's so huge. A lot of people dream of 'the impossible' but can never get their heads around how it can come to be. I say, it's a bit like eating an elephant (and how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time, Sir!), patience is the key here. Every day, just doing a little bit at a time. The time is going to pass anyway, might as well try.
This year I've decided not to be ordered or fanatical about getting this ideal life. I have a good life now and I should appreciate that. The key word here is 'Better'. I can always do better in any area, so I'm going to follow my instincts (valuable assets and pretty much spot on) and be a better me. A good me. Being 'Good' essentially means I don't do the bad stuff. The things that piss me off or make me feel as though I'm going nowhere. I'm not religious or anything so it's not about going to church or praying three times a day, but being gracious, looking after myself and my family, having self respect, keeping a happy vibe, giving. And while I'm busy doing that, opportunities and people will come my way. It's a bit like The Secret, but without the religious slant. I am working for and on me. That's how I feel this year is going to pan out.
I hope good things come your way too, dear reader. Whether you can eat an elephant or not. Be connected to your fellow human beings, you'll be surprised what might come your way if you bring positivity to the table. Basically...
